What does it mean to be masculine?

What is masculinity exactly? How would you define it? Some might think this is an easy question to answer, and some may not. After taking a class called “Masculinities,” at SUNY New Paltz, I have learned a lot on the subject, which makes this a difficult question to answer simply. A general conception of the idea of masculinity is that it is something that embodies men, gives them the character they are expected to represent, and maybe even helps define them as individuals. There is a problem with masculinity though-- in how it is carried out by both men and women and how we collectively view it as a society. If I were to ask a person at random what he/she thinks makes a person masculine or not, that person would most likely answer easily with “a person who is masculine is aggressive, strong, attractive, macho, assertive, confident, resilient, etc.” …while a person who is not masculine is in essence “effeminate, and weak, inferior, subordinate, passive, etc.” This is the case for most men who think they are masculine too. They like to think of themselves as tough, manly men. But the reality of the situation is that these characteristics that we claim to be “masculine” only pose as a façade to a lot of men’s true colors and qualities underneath it all.
I like to think masculinity is a socially constructed, fluid conception of characteristics and personality traits that are typically embodied by men but can also be embodied by women because its meanings and ideologies are not attached to the physical body. The way masculinity functions in our society is what makes it. So if we can alter the way we perceive and exemplify masculinity, as well as the expectations we have created regarding masculinity, we can therefore change its meaning. I say this because masculinity and what it means has essentially led to many negative effects in our society. The prominent detrimental effect for a lot of men and women are their feelings of inadequacy and failures as human beings.
This may seem like a loaded statement, but after a lot of thought and learning, it really isn’t too far off, to be honest. The topic of masculinity and even femininity and our collective consciousness about what they both mean got me into thinking about labeling and about our “categorizing” ways as a society. Although it makes sense realistically to categorize things like being masculine and being feminine and categorizing other things like sex -- only because it makes it easier in social situations (ex: bathrooms) -- labeling also reinforces strongly a lot of what we intent to fix. For example, it’s socially acceptable for a man to be extremely masculine, making him almost heroic in a sense. But when a female embodies characteristics of the same nature, it is not socially acceptable. She is seen as “manly” and something that she is not supposed to be. But the same can be said for males when they act “feminine”. They are seen and get called “girly,” like being a girl is something negative. Sometimes men go as far as to even call their friends “fags” if they can’t measure up to manhood, as if being gay is something negative.
Even though we see this name calling phenomenon as a norm in our society because it happens all the time, and we fail to truly recognize its effects, its causing more harm than it is benefiting people whether we like to believe it or not. These are the socially constructed gender assumptions that need to be taken into account and truly recognized. If we can make small attempts at change, such as refraining from using the term “girly” in a negative context for men (and even women) and abstaining from using the word “fag” to inadvertently tell a man he is not measuring up to his heterosocial masculine ways, even a little bit of inequality and oppression can be prevented and I think this small step can do a lot of good.


Comments are greatly appreciated :)